1. |
Little Muddy Creek
02:07
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I watch my mother fall to the ground. Her head buried in her hands. She cries to god as I walk out the door. “What happened to my son?” but i won’t shed a tear. There’s no use in crying. So I pick up the bottle for old times sake. Just one last time to swallow my worries away. I never thought it’d be the last time I’d see her. I never thought it’d be the day that she died. I can feel her broken heart as I look towards the sky. I hear no answers. Just a book filled with lies. Whats left of me? I’m just a broken man with just a memory. With a cold, heavy heart frozen to the core. I hear no answers.
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2. |
Born Better
03:59
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I don’t need “x’s” on my hands to stay true to myself. I’d still be this way without the ink in my veins. Criticized for these rules. Manipulated by a likely fool. I’ll paint my future gold because I’m the only one that can do so. Your alcoholic beverage is just a fashion statement stapled to the skin of regret. It’s weighing you down. It’s holding you back because you’re hiding behind a label. Just like those X’s on the back of your hands have you pinned to a material world.
I won’t be a product of a trend. I’ll be a human fucking being. I’m not broken. I’ll relearn to breathe. Even when I feel weak. I pick myself up. I keep my head up. This cold is misery.
I’ve been watching my breath as feeling leaves my finger tips. I can’t feel my feet. I won’t let the dark consume me. Another year, you’ve been gone. Another life that’s been wronged. One drink you’re losing touch. One drink won’t change much.
The constant feeling of being alone. I can’t blame it on the holidays this time. This cold steals the life of me. This cold brings back every painful memory. The only thing keeping us alive is the warmth in our hearts.
I wanna pass those yellow lines. I wanna watch the trees fly by.
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3. |
Innisfail Drive
03:25
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I spent every night alone and every night I spent alone. I dream of burning St. Louis down and moving back to a place worth living. But there is a place for me and it’s in my dreams. Fortunately for me, we can drink ourselves to sleep. And in the morning, we can bleed on each other, tell the stories of the life that we once lived and the prayers that we once shared with ourselves and the bedroom walls that contain us. I can’t believe I’m running away. I can’t believe you’re showing me the way. I will take all the blame because this is all my fault. I can handle this all on my own. I’ve always been a loner, but i’ll crawl my way back home before I accept your ride. My heart is bigger than your wallet. My heart is bigger than your city.
The sweet taste of resolution is on my tongue.
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4. |
Changing Lanes
05:20
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I’m minding my own dreams when you wake me. Disbelief. Should I be falling back to sleep? It’s too early. Precious Sunday. This is reality. Consciousness slipping away. These pictures will not leave. I must witness his pulse. This waiting room bleeds the life out of me. And every second it screams. Can’t take my eyes off my feet. This room is full of broken hearts and untold stories. These faces read gloom. Machines fill the room. This can’t be you. Lifeless on the bed. This is not you. You are not dead. Anger controls me. I wanna leave. (I gotta leave) This life repeats itself for far too long. I can see my mothers broken heart through her tired eyes. My father wears a mask of anguish. I’m losing sleep. These thoughts corrupt my mind. It’s reality draining me. My heart sinks. You contact us through discomforting dreams, but they fixed you and brought you back. As a miracle lives on, a coward is gone. Flee the scene. Drunk. Impaired. Indulge in a drive to change lives. It’s never been so easy to hate. Two years isn’t justice. Two years won’t make the pain go away.
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5. |
Set Your Mind
03:28
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In this bottle I hope you find warmth and joy and strength through the hard times. Cause it’s been getting harder to sleep, when I want more than normal. I’m locked in a day dream. Happiness is miles away in Garden City (KS). I’m not afraid to destroy myself for something more beautiful. I’ve been patiently waiting at the hands of belligerency. Cause we’ve been walking in circles around the truth protecting our youth. But they can’t make me believe that all of this was just wasted energy. “Home” always seems to find a way to pull back on it’s leash. It’s suffocating me.
Blindfold to reality. Illustrating my own scenery. The smell of rain and broken sidewalks. A grasping fear trap, that’s all that I’ve got. A world so caught up in the material. No one cares what kind of jeans you wear. Gotta find a place to belong, when home’s been here all along. In this bottle I cannot find warmth and joy. We’ll keep swimming against the current. I feel at home. I feel home. I’ve been searching for something more to feel alive. I feel alive. I’m at home with these wheels.
Concrete ideas I cannot see exploiting your body for popularity. With this song, I’ll break the mold. Make this scene what you want it to be. It’s not a fashion. It’s not a race. “Likes” on Facebook won’t mean a thing. I’d like to think that this is more than noise. Lost in the wilderness searching for Illinois.
This dream has been sinking it’s teeth into me. It’s not letting go. I’m not letting go. provoking the road to swallow me whole. A tight rope I’ll learn to balance. When I find the edge, will you live there with me?
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6. |
Body
04:00
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It’s all done. I’ve filled to the top. Past the line when you should stop. And now I sit. Was that a wise idea? The little crack in my emotions soaked up by a year of tears. I look back upon my struggle. Only one face looks so clear, but I stay silent. Smiles boost my feelings. Straight answers feed my pain. Ignoring yourself becomes more noticeable when you watch your body from miles away. I feel each sunset brings a new batch of life. I look back upon my struggle. Only one face looks so clear, but I stay silent. All aboard - Life’s conductor. All aboard - the fear of structure. All aboard - As we present this clean slate. Do with it as you please. Day one begins. New life so pure, yet so unclean. Days last longer when you work on sealing a break. Tough struggles to indulge in making life so simple like when we were young. Tough skin diligent man. Just like those who raised me, I’ll prevail.
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7. |
Bad Taste
03:12
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One drink is all I’ll need. One drink, it turns into three. This night looks at me. I wake up and rub my eyes. A frozen stare. I’ll wear this one night stand as my proudest mistake. [Temptation may be overwhelming for some, but tonight you’ve got this under control. You’ve never lost control] I don’t recall the headlights or buying into self destruction. Disassemble the youth. This glass of confidence drowns all of those insecurities. Will possessions cover up the lack of living and will giving yourself up each night fill that lonely void in your life where love once shined? TV screens cloud your mind. Mass media sells sex. Sell that same sex to me. You’ve been selling it all week. It’s becoming so cheap. I bought it. Will you remember? Will possessions cover up the lack of living and will giving yourself up each night fill that lonely void in your life where love once shined. Who would’ve guessed that I felt better without the blinds pulled down. The sunshine in my eyes. One drink is never enough. One drink never feels like enough. I’m losing touch.
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8. |
Insufficient Funds
02:42
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I won’t bury these feelings forty hours a week. Burn them to ashes. Send them out to sea. Suffocated by minimum wage. I’d rather be afraid to die than be afraid to live. I’d rather keep my head up than give in to the doubt they try to place in me. Push me to the ground where I can’t breathe. They can’t suppress my voice or smother the flame, alter my actions or change the way I think. Question everything.
The long drive home is what kills me. The fear of change, death and being alone. I would rather burn this city. Set ablaze the entire world. I’ve met love and she gives me the worst hangover.
I’ve been running. I’ve been hiding. I lost my life. I left my heart along the interstate somewhere in northern Indiana. If I was to give in, I’d have nothing left, but family and friends. But that’s all need - to fight fear and believe that what we do only makes us free. Breaks down all walls. Wages rise and wages fall, but no one sees that the real part of living is what we’ve started. Inside and out, we have never parted.
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9. |
White Zinf
02:44
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I’ve been lost in the wilderness. Running through the woods. Searching for happiness. Saving my breath to share with happiness and peace of mind. I’ve wanted home my whole life. Every feeling in this life is temporary. One night is a feast the next is a famine. Pulling hair out. Trapped in nostalgia. The fear of abandonment has left you broken. We will both burn. The thought of me and what you did will haunt you until you’re dead and in hell I will still be in your head. We will both burn.
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10. |
Six Shooter
05:32
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I’ve been walking in this endless graveyard of our moments stuck in time. When we had something. We had that something. I’ve been swallowed into the mouth of loneliness. Quickly digested, regurgitated into a heartless animal. We had a picnic on our grave in the rain in November. The distance betrayed us to think that we had something real. I never asked for you to feel sorry for what happened to my family. But my guilty conscious eats at me and leaves me rotted. They will find me where I belong on the road decomposing. I’ll make this last and savor the fresh air cause in hell I might not be so lucky. Am I a liar just like everyone else I know? Sober truth. There is no intervention. No getting better. I’m a loss. I’m a waste. I’ll eat my pills. Shoot love in my veins. If there was a problem, then I’d solve it. I’ll drown my self in the good times. I won’t remember a thing. It’s only temporary. I won’t forget. You ruined me.
I don’t believe, but I still pray that one day you will see right through this hate. This is a different kind of love. One you could never understand. If it sounds selfish, then I apologize, but I couldn’t sit around and just watch this die. What did you expect from me? I gave up as much as I could. This is the one thing I’ve never had my doubts. You thought the weight of the world could keep me pinned down. I’ve seen this before, but i’m not like them. I won’t let her be another bastard kid. I did the best I could. I’ll come out guns a blazing. No one is listening. I hear whispers. you can’t help me. Ill die next to this dumpster in the alley. A hard rain will fall and wash away the whiskey.
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11. |
Morpho
03:37
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Distance doesn’t eat us. If only, If only she cries. Deep down this is love, but it’s covered by my surface hate. I can’t even look at the sunset without catching a glimpse of your face. No point in even talking. No need to procrastinate. Whi, I think my little boy has done that enough. Memories aren’t supposed to fade to black and if they did, love and lust would lack. Torment and adoration doesn’t begin to break that spine in your back. Hard head, rip, held high. You’ve got to wear that skin of emotions on your sleeve. Distance doesn’t eat us. This is me in my purest form.
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12. |
Bonafide Part I
03:10
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All we see is a blurry line. Like growing up isn’t hard enough. And it’s a shame nothing is presented in plain view. People come and People go. Some we hold close, but others fade away real slow. I hold my best friends close, but those you don’t see as me even closer. Not to change, but to wake up. De-clutter what we learn from others and accept what we have. Special just for us. Only for us. it takes a real man to grow up inside and refuse to hide from sadness, mistrust and material outsides. It takes a real man to show his true self with a smile not a fake shield because he’s afraid of denial. Those are just spoken words, as valuable as shit dropped by birds. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones and words can never disrupt my home. My home away from home. Take your music and build the flow. Let out anything and take control, for this is your one chance, not only to impress but to do what you want in your life. Hold a list with nothing left. Let your heart beat out of your pushed out chest. Soon the game will be over and we will settle down. No more time just to mess around. This is why I stress so hard not to let free spirit die. Don’t let you die.
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13. |
Heart Flavored Living
03:56
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I’ll fall right out of love again. As this city spits me out, I’ll land right on my ass again. I’ll fall right out of the green sky. into my laundry room, a waiting room I can feel again. Is this a new brand of music with a new style of hair? A new level of underground? No one seems to care about the lack of passion you call your life. The fire is put out. Now the smoke stings my eyes.
I want more. One more endless drive. I want more. One more sleepless night. And all the birds they sing our names. And although it always rains. I will cherish every day.
I fall right out of the family tree into the drivers seat of our hopes and dreams. [Scream forever back at me.] So sit back and relax and watch this grow into a brand new life stretching to confines of home. Play it back like your favorite show. I’ll be watching from the window of a place that you loathe. My heart and my love dear, watch this grow.
I’ve been dreaming of love.
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